Hey children… hold your tongue and say “I live on a ship with a bunch of apples”. It’s a gas.
Pet your turtles, they enjoy snugglies more than painI feel like this is especially appropriate for cars and turtles in the road.
And don’t drill holes in them or paint em. Its painful and toxic and you’ll make the poor things cry!
Our turtles love having their heads and chins scratched. And a light pat on their shells. No hits, or thumps. They love good pets, please pet them with love.
Shells are LITERALLY their backbone, imagine if someone thumped you hard on the spine. It would suck right? Don’t do it.
Also their shells are covered in a VERY thin layer of fingernail-like material called scutes. When you paint it, a) it’s very easy for the toxins in the paint to absorb into the turtle’s system and poison them, b) it cuts off circulation to the thin layer of living skin below the scutes, c) it deforms the shell because turtles, especially young turtles, grow rapidly and the paint will inhibit proper shell growth and d) prevents the turtle from absorbing necessary vitamin D from UV rays (you know, that stuff they need to live). NEVER EVER PAINT A TURTLE EVER.
Next time you want to knock on a turtle/tortoise shell, go ask your neighbor to punch you in the ribs, and see how that feels. Not only is it the spine, but their lungs sit near the top of the curve as well—THIS IS WHY TURTLES/TORTOISES CAN DIE IF LEFT FLIPPED OVER TOO LONG, IT IS VERY DISTRESSING FOR THEIR BODIES.
be gentle with living beings you are responsible for.
Imagine having 2 dads, and then them divorcing and dating other men. Then you’d have 4 dads.
The amount of dad jokes…
"Hi hungry, I’m dad."
"Hi dad, I’m dad too!"
"Hi dad too, I’m dad three."
"Hi dad three, I’m dad."
What have you done
flirting w/ bae
Charles Bukowski (via bittersweetsongs)
Wow bukowski so profound do you also bathe fully clothed you dickhead. “Oohh isn’t it funny that a person will eat when they’re hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face”
How the world sees America.
The evolution of Halloween costumes for girls…
this is really important
This is why I get upset about the sexy costumes at Halloween. Not because you don’t have the right to be sexy—you absolutely, absolutely do. But because while you might be able to find costume #3 in a tween size in each of these rows, I can guarantee that in almost all cases, you will not find costume #2 in a teen or adult size.
Babies/toddlers get to be cute. Kids/tweens get to be fun and spooky and still have modesty, if they want it. Teens who aren’t on the small end are already getting the sexy, even if they really just want fun, spooky, and a skirt that goes below mid-thigh. And adults? LOL nope it’s sexy or nothing.
Everyone who is of an age to want sexy should be allowed to have sexy. But “not sexy” should always be on the table as well, because sometimes you just want to be warm and cozy and filling a pillowcase with strangercandy.
I love it when society would call girls sluts for dressing like that and at the same time they refuse to offer girls any other kind of halloween costumes.